por Diego Pardo

Este texto foi um presente do Diego! Ele é Colombiano, casado com uma brasileira (há! garoto inteligente!) e escreveu as 9 coisas para saber antes de se casar com uma brasileira! E você, concorda com a lista?!

*Deixei o texto original em inglês, porque tá demais!

1. Your name will be shortened

Sim, a gente gosta de apelidos!

Your name will be shortened no matter what. (Di, Jo, Lipe, Leo, Ti). Only if you have a really short or complicated name it will remain as original.

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2. Get used to short vocabulary

Ah vá!!

Besides of the short names, short words and short sentences will be part of your dictionary. Examples: “Amor, ó aqui, ó” meaning: “Honey, take a look in here, this is something that I think you will be interesting in” or “Sinto Saudades”: “she is describing a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent of something or someone that she loves.”

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3. No tolerance to strong climate changes

É, odiamos sentir frio ou calor extremos!

If you don’t live in a tropical country, your wife’s thermal perception will oscillate between “Calor do Caralho” e “Frio da Porra”.

4. You will hear voices…

Amooooor, quer que esquente o macarrãaao?!

Sometimes you will hear your name aloud coming from any point of the house. She doesn’t want you to go there, she is starting a long-distance conversation.

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5. Exagerated quotes

A gente exagera? Nem percebi…

Brazilians exagerate! If you are driving, she would say “segue reto toda a vida” (go straight the rest of your life!) to indicate that you need to drive up to the end of the road. Or “Te chamei quinze mil vezes” (I’ve called you 15.000 times).

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6. Passion for candies

Brigadeiroooooooo!!!

Your diet will include tremendous amount of calories encapsulated in dramatically small volumes of sweets (ex. Brigadeiros and Paçoquinhas). Be aware of not to mention them as possible cause when your wife complains about any extra kilos gained.

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7. The Havaianas thing

Ahhh as Havaianas…

She has the skills to walk (or even run!) in any terrain wearing the famous flip flops (Havaianas). Do not try to imitate her, it will take years before you dominate the art of wearing them.

8. The magical number 6 or “meia”

Da onde a gente tirou que 6 é meia?!

She will use the word ‘Half’ (meia) to refer to the number 6!!!. This strange mathematical connection (half = 6) is still a mystery for the scientific community.

1/2??

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9. A colored life

Eu vejo cores em você!!!

Regardless of the troubles (and fun!) you will face when trying to understand all your wife’s customs and expressions, when you marry a Brazilian girl your life will be full of colors, smiles and passion. So, what are you waiting for? Go marry a Brazilian girl!